Guidelines For Adults to Talk About War with Children

Conversations about war and peace can feel overwhelming, for adults and children alike. However, when held with care, these conversations can nurture empathy, resilience, and hope. The following guidance is meant to support adults in creating safe and meaningful spaces where children can express themselves during the proposed activities.

Adults are encouraged to acknowledge and be present with their own emotions in a calm and regulated way. Showing vulnerability, sharing feelings of concern, sadness, or hope, models healthy emotional expression and invites children to do the same, fostering trust and openness.

Remember: these spaces should feel horizontal, encouraging mutual learning and active listening with the heart. As adults, approach with honesty while ensuring children’s safety. The activities are intended to open dialogue and spark reflection.

Create a Safe and Respectful Space

Children need to know they are entering a space where their thoughts and feelings will be valued. Before you start any activity, engage all participating children in setting simple agreements together, such as listening to one another without judgment, giving everyone a chance to speak, and respecting what is shared.

In mixed spaces with children and adults, be attentive to dynamics: adults may dominate or introduce extreme narratives. Safeguard the space so children’s voices remain central, and do not overload them with political, violent, or graphic details.

 Clear reassurance that “there are no wrong answers” helps children feel included and safe.

Use Simple and Child-Friendly Language

Complex issues like war and conflict can be confusing. Avoid political explanations or graphic details. Instead, focus on what children can relate to, such as friendship, family, school, play, and safety.

While it may be natural to focus on conflicts closer to a child’s context, it is also valuable to bring in examples from other places. Avoid limiting conversations to only one conflict. This helps children explore different perspectives and recognize that all children everywhere deserve peace and safety.

You can use metaphors from the activities to help children understand and relate to challenging ideas.

Listen First and Guide Gently

Children will express themselves differently, some through words, others through drawings, or silence. Allow space for all forms of expression. When asking questions, keep them open-ended and supportive: “How did that make you feel?” or “What would peace look like for you?” Acknowledge their responses without pushing them to say more than they want.

Avoid asking prompting-close ended questions and make sure your feedback is non-biased.

Support Emotional Well-Being

Conversations about war may bring up sadness, worry, or even personal memories. Pay attention to children’s emotional cues. If a child becomes upset, pause and offer calm reassurance: a sip of water, a moment to breathe, or stepping aside with a trusted adult. It is important to normalize feelings, letting children know it is okay to feel sad, angry, or confused. Make sure to end activities on a positive, hopeful note.

 So-called “negative” emotions are not bad; they show that we care. Allow space for them to be expressed.

Allow for silence. Remember: it is often more comforting to acknowledge and sit with emotions than to try to rush past them.

When Heavy Feelings Surface

If a child shares painful or personal experiences, keep the following in mind:

• Thank them for sharing and acknowledge their courage.
• Allow them to finish their story.
• Do not ask for more details.
• Gently bring the group back to a collective reflection (for example: “Many children in war feel this way, what can we do together to help?”).

Follow up privately with the child after the session if needed, and connect them to further support where possible.

Inspire Hope and Agency

Acknowledge hardship, but don’t let it be the final note. Instead, guide the conversation toward children’s power to be agents of peace and kindness. Invite them to think of small, concrete actions they can take in their daily lives, such as welcoming a new classmate, showing kindness, sharing resources, or creating drawings and messages for peace.

Remind them that even small actions make a big difference.

Collaborate with Community and Faith Leaders

If religious or community leaders are present, encourage them to share messages of compassion, dignity, and unity. They should be mindful to uplift children’s voices and reinforce their value as contributors to peacebuilding, rather than only as passive recipients of protection.

Take Care of Yourself

Holding space for children can be moving and sometimes difficult. Adults need moments to process emotions as well. After an event, take time with co-facilitators to reflect, share what surfaced, and support one another. Modeling calmness, empathy, and resilience will help children feel grounded and reassured.